How To Smoke Weed Out of a Bong

Wednesday, July 21, 2010 |

My friend Tom sent me this. If you think the 90s are funny, you will think this video is hilarious! Alien patented bongs! Dave Matthews Band paintings! Fuzzy hats! SICK BONG RIPS!!! The ending of the video is stupid and incomprehensible, but so is the rest of it! Incredible stuff, incredible 90s stuff!

"Bowl... no weed. Bowl... WEEEED."

The New Cuzin Chubby Show!

Friday, July 16, 2010 |

The Little Trainer Stepper is also recommended for monkeys with mono, Jesus Christ himself, the book "The Secret", "Show Me the Money!", George Costanza's hairpiece.....AND SENIOR CITIZENS! Whatever you do, do not take the cushion off the top of a barstool or circular couch pillow and place it on the floor instead of The Little Trainer Stepper! It's just not the same! (The Little Trainer Stepper is the same as a barstool cushion or circular couch pillow)

I know this is probably from late 80s/early 90s, but it brings up a good question I've always wanted to ask: why do we continue to dress grown man in oversized animal costumes, make them dance and sing in a high pitched voice? Yes, we all watched Barney, and Sesame Street, but I wouldn't be caught choking on my mashed peas watching a god damn hip-hop zebra on TV.

Last words: I really, really want to see the old Cuzin Chubby show.

Do Dogs Make Good Christians?

Thursday, July 15, 2010 |

"He does a fatal flaw though, he tends to lick his butt quite a bit."-- Looks like the dog and master have some in common!

IIWKC Phil Vassar interview

Saturday, July 10, 2010 |

A strange little child named Christopher Neoussebaeume interviews the one and only Nashville legend, Phil Vassar, the writer of such hits as "Bobbi With An I" (an ode to transvestitism) and "I'll Take That As A Yes!" (an ode to maybe unintentional intercourse). The kid asks some pretty standard "Music Interview" questions, all of which Phil Vassar answers very honestly and courteously. Except for when the kid mentions some outdated technology we here at Vile Viral are very fond of. For some reason, Vassar can't get his head around little Mr. Nooosiebalm knowing what a cassette is.


Friday, July 2, 2010 |

I'm not really sorry. I can't be Daniel Tosh and crank out witty things to say about these horrible videos with real people seeking real internet fame every god damned day of my real horrible life. I don't have the time or the energy.
First, I have to find the videos, which is like sifting through a large pile of shit to find a shittier piece of shit that hopefully only less than 5,000 people have seen before. I act like I don't enjoy it, but I really do. I have an infatuation with horrible videos. But, I haven't been updating, and I apologize. I apologize to Alex, who is the lone viewer of this sad webpage of which he contributes wonderfully to. Anyway, here are VIDZ...

How to steal a biscuit

I think they should make a 'Bourne', or 'Bond', or 'Ocean's Eleven' (I guess just 'One' though, but it would be cool, and have jazz music) like book and movie series with this kid in it. He has the perfect name: ROGER STONE. He could go on biscuit stealing missions, or clean up the mess he made while playing air guitar and jumping off the bed and accidentally knocking over a glass of Coca-Cola before his parents gets home. ROGER STONE in "A BISCUIT BAKED TOO BROWN" or some other ambiguous title. I don't know, just spitballing.

Where's Timmy?

Oh, thank god they found him. I was getting worried. Sweet necklace!

Guess WHOSSS Back

Oh, thank god you're back. I was getting worried. It's been 179 days, huh? It feels like it's been longer than 179 days. That's absurd, how could you leave us hanging without a YouTube video from you for 179 days? No, it's okay, we're not gonna hold it against you that you haven't checked in for 179 days! Oh, you're rapping now, huh? I want to hear the Star Wars Rap! GIVE ME A SHOEDOOT IN YOUR NEXT VIDEO! PLEASE! I'M NOT SURE WHAT A SHOEDOOT IS BUT IT SOUNDS COOL.

Listen, I don't think calling people a 'faggot' is nice, but if I saw that kid, I'd totally call him a faggot without any regrets.


New Hairstyle

Friday, June 25, 2010 |

The teenage ghost of Fred Gwinne (you know, Herman Munster and the old man from Pet Sematary) complains about his haircut. We get it, kid. You look weird. End of story.

TheRaker55's Jerry Seinfeld Impression

Tuesday, June 15, 2010 |

About two years ago, I had found a young YouTuber called Robert, who made videos entitled "Robert's Room." These videos consisted of this young man, Robert, ranting and raving about various things. These videos hadn't received many views, and their crude production and out-right sillyness made them seem like hidden treasures amongst the vast wasteland that is YouTube. Then... Robert closed his account. It was a depressing time, and in these two years since, I, as well as Andrew (who operates the site as well) have looked for someone with the wit, amateurish style, and plain oddity that Robert possessed. I think we found our man.

Also: note the great New Age music in the background.