Friday, July 2, 2010 |

I'm not really sorry. I can't be Daniel Tosh and crank out witty things to say about these horrible videos with real people seeking real internet fame every god damned day of my real horrible life. I don't have the time or the energy.
First, I have to find the videos, which is like sifting through a large pile of shit to find a shittier piece of shit that hopefully only less than 5,000 people have seen before. I act like I don't enjoy it, but I really do. I have an infatuation with horrible videos. But, I haven't been updating, and I apologize. I apologize to Alex, who is the lone viewer of this sad webpage of which he contributes wonderfully to. Anyway, here are VIDZ...

How to steal a biscuit

I think they should make a 'Bourne', or 'Bond', or 'Ocean's Eleven' (I guess just 'One' though, but it would be cool, and have jazz music) like book and movie series with this kid in it. He has the perfect name: ROGER STONE. He could go on biscuit stealing missions, or clean up the mess he made while playing air guitar and jumping off the bed and accidentally knocking over a glass of Coca-Cola before his parents gets home. ROGER STONE in "A BISCUIT BAKED TOO BROWN" or some other ambiguous title. I don't know, just spitballing.

Where's Timmy?

Oh, thank god they found him. I was getting worried. Sweet necklace!

Guess WHOSSS Back

Oh, thank god you're back. I was getting worried. It's been 179 days, huh? It feels like it's been longer than 179 days. That's absurd, how could you leave us hanging without a YouTube video from you for 179 days? No, it's okay, we're not gonna hold it against you that you haven't checked in for 179 days! Oh, you're rapping now, huh? I want to hear the Star Wars Rap! GIVE ME A SHOEDOOT IN YOUR NEXT VIDEO! PLEASE! I'M NOT SURE WHAT A SHOEDOOT IS BUT IT SOUNDS COOL.

Listen, I don't think calling people a 'faggot' is nice, but if I saw that kid, I'd totally call him a faggot without any regrets.



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