IIWKC Phil Vassar interview

A strange little child named Christopher Neoussebaeume interviews the one and only Nashville legend, Phil Vassar, the writer of such hits as "Bobbi With An I" (an ode to transvestitism) and "I'll Take That As A Yes!" (an ode to maybe unintentional intercourse). The kid asks some pretty standard "Music Interview" questions, all of which Phil Vassar answers very honestly and courteously. Except for when the kid mentions some outdated technology we here at Vile Viral are very fond of. For some reason, Vassar can't get his head around little Mr. Nooosiebalm knowing what a cassette is.

Get Phil and Tommy on SNL

So let me get this straight: Tommy Robinetti and Phil Thomas Katt, hosts of the Pensacola, Florida public access television series "The Uncharted Zone" want to host Saturday Night Live?! Host?! I say make these guys cast members! Screw that, make them THE cast members! Change the name of the show to "Saturday Night Katt"!! I'd take Robinetti's Dio meets Billy Bob Thorton and Katt's post-modern Roy Orbison over Andy Samberg any day. I also like how Robinetti suggests that instead of "hosting Saturday Night Live", these guys should be able to "watch Saturday Night Live." You can't do that already, boys?! For shame, for shame.

Uncle Majic Commercial

For real, magic gets ALL the ladies up on my shit. Sometimes, I get a ring for they finger, and it turns out it ain't real and it just shoots water at they faces. You know that trick where the wand becomes a bouquet of flowers? That trick is straight garbage! I make a bouquet of flowers turn into a gigantic mountain of cocaine for these bitches to package into bricks for movement. These parties isn't the only thing I got going! Ha, nah. Nah I make money appear out of mother fuckin thin air.

Last Words: I've been to one of his parties. It was for Darnell Williams' 4-year old daughter's birthday party. Is a daytime soap actor really a celebrity? I don't even know who he is.

Halloween - Manic Macavity

Finding this video was more uncomfortable for me than the actual video. Don't ask me how I found it, because I won't tell you, kind of like a rape victim when they are too embarrassed to tell anyone and then eventually blame themselves for it. I blame myself for this one. I'm also pretty sure the little girl in the background of the video blames herself, too. You could tell she could only physically and mentally stand being around for the filming of one portion of the video.

Last words: Meow.

Billy Mays on iCarly!!!

I imagine this is the song Satan plays over a loud speaker 24 hours a day in hell. Partially because the song in the video is god awful, and partially because of it's sinful nature: an adolescent girl that you don't know whether or not you want to punch her in the face or punch her in the back of the head, and a cocaine-addicted consumer goods panderer who's beard is way too perfect to be true, sharing a song about, let's face it, fucking. It's disturbing on many levels. Even the way it sounds like Billy Mays is getting his voice box stabbed continuously isn't the most disturbing part. Besides that, it's slightly catchy. It makes me wonder if my inclinations were true: pop music is evil.

Wayne's World 2003

What does it mean? What's the significance? I don't know, and I don't care. Is it a political statement, or social commentary? Is it satire? You know what, I'm not wasting my time trying to decipher it! Ha! I'm not going to play their game. I'm just going to pass this off as cryptic, weird to be weird nonsense and let it go. GOD DAMMIT WHAT DOES IT MEAN.

Last words: Can't wait for the remake.

Hillsdale Public Library Jingles

Little kids singing a cappella about the joys of a public library? I think I'll take a listen. Forget Justin Bieber, these kids are the future of music. One edited popping verse at a time.



...and they got VileViral™ favorite Dan Barcan singing a song too?! These Hillsdale Public Library people are geniuses, I say. Geniuses.

Stigs covers "Last Caress" by the Misfits

When I hear Glenn Danzig and the Misfits sing this song, I hear a fun and campy horror punk ode to 1950's pop. However, when "Stigs" sings this song, like the demented Tom Jones he is, I do not hear fun and camp. I hear malicious intent and primal fear. I am legitimately frightened. But... I can't turn it off.

Dan Barcan- "A Movie Proposal To Eddie and Charlie Murphy"

Dan Barcan is a comedic and musical genius who hails from Hillsdale, New Jersey. He films his movies using iMovie, usually talking place in a public library or an Apple store. As of today, his YouTube account has about 260 videos, which stem from tributes to Paul McCartney, Prince, Sly Stone and countless others, impersonations of everyone from President John Adams to Scarface, and even social commentary, with Mr. Barcan offering some important information on the mysterious illness with plagued many bats in the Northeastern United States. He calls his brand of humor "Stream of Conscious Comedy" which has resulted in many moments of absurdist genius. Since Dan Barcan has so many videos available, and in so many different styles, it was impossible for me to pick just one, but I believe this recent proposal to the Murphy brothers, Chris Rock, and Judge Reinhold to star in a new movie alongside Dan, as well as a musical tribute to the Mets' Ike Davis make this video a great introduction to Dan Barcan's talents. You can listen to his music and read some socio-political commentary on his MySpace, which you can get to here. I recommend listening to his song "Promises."

The Family Album- "Diamond Dave is back with the Van Halen boys!"

Van Halen has had three lead singers. The first (and best), David Lee Roth, the second (and lame) Sammy Hagar, and the third (and completely forgettable) Gary Cherone. The lead singer of "The Family Album", who refers to himself as "Diamond Dave" (in reference to Roth) never sang for Van Halen. However, if the band ever needed a new frontman, they need to look no further than The Family Album's singer... he's got the wit, the voice, and the magic to get a whole stadium rocking!

Redox.-.Biznesman.VHS-Rip.by.WDA

I wasn't sure what language this video was in until the lead singer utters something closely resembling English before he is engulfed by bricks: "I am businessman from Poland!" Really? Who's video editor from Poland? OH WAIT. I get it! A 'business man' is a male escort! Now the lyrics make perfect sense! I think...

Last words: This was made in 2005.

No, but probably.

Republican Dad: "5 Year-Old Twins Sing Michael Jackson"

I was under the impression that karaoke involved the singing a song over a backing track. Apparently, I was wrong. According to Republican Dad, karaoke is where you look at the monitor rolling the lyrics and then proceed to read them in a jittery yet monotone manner, shaking and slightly jumping but never leaving the ground. Republican Dad also believes that in music videos the camera angle should turn but the performer should not. I'll take his word for it.

Let's Paint Francine Dancer & Dogfood!

"Lets Paint TV" is a California-based Public Access show where John Kilduff showcases himself painting and doing other everyday things at the same time. Obviously, he understands the strangeness and silliness of the show, but his enthusiasm for being on live television and hopelessly accepting prank phone calls brings the show back to the cruel, real world. Live Public Access television has to be one of my favorite mediums because the production values haven't changed since it started and they'll let anyone with free time broadcast themselves. With the self-proclaimed "Queen of Public Acess" Francine Dancer, and a local 2-piece band appropriately named Dogfood, here is an episode of Let's Paint TV!

Last words: I'm kind of curious as to what the punchlines to "Is Raymond there?" and "Are they still together?" were.

ginger's rap (looking at you)

*ATTENTION* 'RAP' LABEL EXECUTIVES: ARE YOU LOOKING FOR THE NEXT RAPPING SUPERSTAR? DO NOT LOOK FURTHER. HE IS AN *APPEALING* COMBINATION OF THE CUTE, TALENTED JUSTIN BIEBER (FOR THE KIDS, YOUNG GIRLS WHO BUY RINGTONES) AND THE LYRICAL GENIUS EMINEM (SUBURBAN BLACK KIDS, ASSHOLES).

This shit is FIRE. RED HOT. Rich, Bald(?), Asian Kid Who Wears Ed Hardy has been fucking with my man for TOO LONG. This is the HOTTEST diss track of the year, no QUESTION. His flow is UNCANNY. UNTOUCHABLE. Let's rewind that shit: "I bet you already know.........................what I do at home (WHAT?! He didn't.) Only the realest in the game wear ONE IN-EAR HEADPHONE to keep the beat, baby. Or else, it would just sound like you were reading from a COMPUTER SCREEN! Nah. NAH. Go SHOVE IT and fuck your OLD HAGS. I'm OUT.